It's only been 5 days since I've updated my journals, but it feels like two weeks.
So many things have happened, and as a result my anxiety has been maxed out.
I've spent a lot of my down time just laying on the floor, staring at the celling. And crying of course, can't forget that!
Today is Friday, and things started going downhill on Tuesday.
It was just one of those days where everything that could go wrong, did.
I had just bought a fan the day before, and was so excited to be able to sleep and feel somewhat cool, instead of roasting all night, tossing and turning. Instead, the power went out. It was such a tease too. It went out for two hours right as I went to bed, then came back on for a heavenly 5 hours, and then went back out for another 5 hours.
If that wasn't enough to fuck up my sleep schedule, I woke up at 5am to glass breaking. Wonderful. The neighbors cat knocked over a glass jar outside my window, while trying to say hi to my cat, who got MAD and hissed, then scaring the other cat. I didn't want her little paws to get scratched up, so I got up and swept up glass at 5am. SO FUN.
I woke up, worked and then biked to get my hair cut. The road to my hairdressers house was literally uphill both ways, super great workout on little sleep.
Cut most of my hair off. Love the cut. But I felt ugly (I'm learning to love it more each day). Came home, started to cook breakie (breakfast) at 1pm, as a normal human being does.
BUT GUESS WHAT??? No gas. Guys I literally had already cracked the eggs into the pan. Thank go d I have the sweetest neighbors ever and they let me use their stove. I went back home and ate, feeling rather defeated.
Ended up doing a cardio dance class with my neighbors, which was some super fun girl time, and such a good workout!
Went home and thought to myself, 'Today was....a day. And I 'worked out' for the first time since being in Costa Rica, I deserve some mac n cheese!!!' (It's my comfort food, don't judge me)
The universe hit me with a big ole' 'NAH BRO' in the form of MAGGOTS IN MY MAC N CHEESE. Had a minor meltdown, called Riley for support and decided on ramen. You bet your ass I thoroughly checked those ramen noodles first. It ended up being pretty fire when I added some left over Thai porkchops, veggies and beans.
I've also been getting a ton of bug bites, for god knows why. I have like 15 on my legs alone, as I'm typing this. FML.
That was the beginning of the landslide.
Over the next few days, I felt general anxiety over this previous day, as well as added anxiety from things like a random heck ton of ghost ants in my kitchen (super super small).
I've felt defeated. So defeated that it took me three days to even talk about my experiences on here. But I'm here now and happy to report today has been better.
Sometimes distractions can be healthy.
I'm watching my neighbors animals for the weekend (which is literally like a vacation since their house is wayyyyy bigger and nicer, AND they have two dogs and two cats). I filmed a new YouTube video on Wednesday finally, and finished editing that today.
I have 20 YouTube shorts videos to add captions to, for the influencer I work for. At 30 mins a piece, that will take up most of my free time this weekend, but I'm feeling grateful for the extra work. Let's pile up that savings.
Tomorrow I'm going to a parade in the center of Puerto Viejo with Monique, looking forward to that.
And just generally looking forward to life. This week has been tough, but that's part of life.
Either Sunday or Monday, whenever I get all of my many items of work done, I will be treating myself to a fancy dinner of my choice. I'm really looking forward to it.
I've also been thinking about my next steps after Costa Rica, and I have a vague plan, but for now that will stay in my private journals. Just know I'm VERY excited about the next 1-2 years of my life.
Feeling so grateful, blessed and abundant. Life is good.
Thanks for reading and keeping up with me. If you ever have anything you'd like me to write about, contact me through my form, or any of my socials. I love writing and sharing, and all I can hope to do is help one person <3
PURA VIDA!