The last week has been.. rough.
I'm just coming out of fighting off a stomach bug. Still not feeling great when I eat. Hoping I feel fully recovered soon because I'm tired of eating bland simple foods. Also tired of my tummy randomly hurting.
I've always had an 'iron' stomach. I actually can't think of a single time that I've gotten food poisoning or had the flu with any stomach symptoms. At least in my adult years. So I've really been thrown off by this.
I've had so much I've wanted to do, like editing my YouTube video and updating my blog, and I just haven't had the emotional energy.
Instead, I binged an entire 25 episode anime in 3 days lol Torodora! was soooo good. Highly recommend if you like anime.
I had my first session back with my therapist since she was out on surgery. It was really helpful and we talked a lot about body image, something I really struggle with. I think I'll make a whole article on that.
I also have been reading Polysecure, which is a book about attachment and polyamory. I've had it for over a year and just haven't been able to really get into it. It's hard because I love reading and learning, but I have a very difficult time STARTING and sitting still and focusing on the book. I'm realizing physical books are much easier for me, because I really like to highlight and make notes.
I've been reading on a kindle, which I know you can do the same, but I'm just not liking it as much, and finding it harder to get into the book and my flow with reading.
HOWEVER, I'm 40% of the way through the book, which is the most I've read in....awhile. SO that's a huge accomplishment for me. I'm learning so much about my attachment type, and why I behave the way I do in my relationships. It all makes so much sense.
I'm looking forward to getting to the part of the book with things to do to WORK ON these issues, because MAN, I have a lot of them.
Also, it's been exactly 2 months in Costa Rica and I'm finally starting to miss physical touch. It's my lowest of the list of my love languages, but it's finally starting to hit me. I really just miss hugs and snuggles more than anything. It feels so sad to say it's been 2 months since I hugged someone.
I'm looking forward to Riley coming in a month for our two year anniversary! I miss him sooooo much. It's going to be so nice to get to spend a whole week with him and muffin.
Speaking of Muffin, it's 10pm and she's outside somewhere right now. She really wanted to go outside and was super antsy, so I knew it was time. It was hard after she ran away. But I have to trust that she's smart, and the most cautious cat I've ever met. So she'll be okay. And she'll come back because she's always starving haha
I also should mention I'm doing sober September. I'm not smoking any weed, which really isn't all that difficult for me, especially since I have lavender/mint pre rolls to smoke. My only caffeine is coming from black tea. The hardest part is I'm cutting out sweets for the first two weeks to see if my skin clears up/bloating goes down. My only forms of sugar are from fruit and granola.
This has been insanely difficult for me, because I have the biggest sweet tooth in the world. But I'm really proud of the progress I've made.
But I won't lie, the number of times I've stood in the kitchen and just stared at my pantry looking for a snack, is a lot. I have no self control. I literally had to just keep absolutely no snacks in the house.
Once the two weeks are up, I plan on reintroducing things back into my diet, and working on having a healthier relationship with them, with the help of my therapist.
I honestly just want my body to feel good. I've been totally out of whack for over a month now and I want to figure out what's going on.
I think that about sums up the chaos that has been my life the past week. Hopefully I'll have a new YouTube video out tomorrow. I'll link it below when I do!
Sending you all my hugs and love, thanks for reading <3 PURA VIDA