Today is not the day. This week is not the week. This massive retrograde phase is just a big ole' NOPE for me dawg.
I've been MIA from my blog, and really from social media for about 10 days now, as my life went from, 'I'm learning and growing, doing the best I can', to 'Someone please save me from this chaos'.
It's interesting though, because as I look back and reflect on my analysis of each day, things don't seem that bad. I use and app called Daylio to track how my day went overall. I can label my day as, 'rad, good, meh, bad, awful' and then add notes about why and what I did.
Most of the days in the past 10 days are either 'good' or 'rad', which I think shows a lot about my personal growth, adapting to living in the uncomfortable and my all around attitude to the things that happen to me.
Last week my dad fainted and hit his head, after having a lung infection for three weeks. My mom took him to the hospital and took care of him all day. I don't want to overshare here, because that's not what this is about, but please don't think, 'I hope he gets better soon'. I hope my mom can find peace soon, she does so much and is not treated right.
So all of that took two days out of my life, as I laid in bed and fought with my emotions. I feel a certain way, but my thoughts sound so fucked up, so are they? An internal battle if I've ever been in one.
Before I even heard the news about my dad, I woke up that day with a bad headache, and my body hurt everywhere. I felt hungover, but I haven't drank or smoked all month. I resorted to tylenol and even that only helped my headache for an hour before it came back raging. My neighbors all felt super off that day too, one of their grandparents even died THAT SAME DAY. Just so many crazy things happened that was like what the fucckkkkk is going on?!
This is when I learned 6 planets were-ARE- in retrograde.
I honestly don't know a lot about astrology for believing in it so much, but I definitely believe in it.
After a quick google search, all 6 planets will be in retrograde until October 2nd. EXCUSE ME WHAT?! The last 10 days have been insane and it's supposed to continue like this for almost two more weeks. Someone please help me.
ANYWAY, more chaotic things that have happened. We don't have much water this week, starting last Saturday, and going through next Monday. The only days we have water is Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. It's not quite as bad as it sounds, because we have a reserve tank that stores extra water, so on the off days, we still have water, just very little pressure. But regardless, we have to conserve water so we don't run out.
Welllll today that happened. We have legitimately no water, all day. Thank god I have some drinking water stored up, but it kind of sucks to use that to wash dishes.
BUT YOU GUYS, I started my period last night, and I have no way to clean myself or shower. I can't flush my toilet, so my house smells like literal shit. I can't do the dishes easily. I'm not even allowed to do laundry this week. It just really sucks not having water.
You might say, well can you go somewhere else for the day? Or maybe go to the beach? But if I leave my house to even just walk somewhere, I will be drenched in sweat, and then won't be able to shower until tomorrow (hopefully). Hippy bath in the ocean? Great in theory, but sand. Sand everywhere and then no way to get it off. No thank you.
So today kind of just sucks and I'm just staying inside, still sweating, but less than I would be outside.
I also started microdosing magic mushroom chocolates in the mornings. Today is my 5th day. It's so crazy to me that it's completely legal here and I can just buy it at the store. Each micro dose is .125 grams. To give you an idea of what that means, most people take 2 grams or more, for a full 'trip', so this is a very small amount, that you in theory, shouldn't feel any trippy effects from. I have discovered today however, that if you drink to much pure cacao with maca, you might have a bit of a trip. OOPS! Good to know for the future LOL
Overall though, I really do feel like it's helped my creativity, insight and overall mood. I think life is tough right now, and I wouldn't be handling all the things that have happened with such grace, without this new mindfulness.
The past week I have spent literal hours meditating. It has felt so nice to relax, dive into my inner being and connect with my breath. I've also spent a lot of time reading, journaling, doing yoga and moving my body. I feel very connected to myself, and am so grateful for all the growth and learning I've experienced.
I have a new neighbor, who does this thing called muscle testing. It's kind of a form of reiki. I'm going to butcher the definition of what he does, but he connects your your body, specifically muscles, energetically, and you talk to him about what foods you eat and he tells you whether they are good, bad or okay for your body.
He used to have fibromyalgia and cured himself years ago, by seeing a muscle testing specialist. Through changing his mindset and diet, he is now pain free. That's mind blowing!
I've been struggling with my diet, always feel heavy, bloated and breaking out. I kind of knew some things I should cut out, but I figured it's always nice to be told by someone else. It makes it easier to stick to, for me personally.
So after the testing, Turns out the things I can't eat are: dairy, gluten, oats, spicy peppers, processed/artificial sugars and limited amounts of: rice, eggs, honey and pure cane sugar. This logically makes sense in my head, because I feel like crap when I eat gluten, dairy and sugar. The rest honestly surprised me, but I've only been eating this way for 2 days and I seriously feel so much lighter and less bloated, it's crazy!
I'm curious to see if my skin clears up over the next month. It's hard though because I also sweat a crazy amount, so I have to take that into consideration.
SOOOO YEAH. This has been the chaos of my life. So many small things have happened too, like muffin going outside and getting attacked by the neighbor cat TWICE. I really want to film a new youtube video, but I'm afraid my editing app will have issues again, after spending 8 hours on my last video and then not being able to save it. Hopefully soon, be on the lookout! For now, my priority is updating my blog <3
I'll be adding some new recipes here, so go check them out, and let me know if you make anything! I'd love to post some pictures on my page!
Thank you so much for reading any amount of this that you did. If your life feels like complete and utter chaos right now, just know you aren't alone. We are ALL going through it.
Sending you hugs and all of my love! Don't forget to slow down, breath, drink some water and move your body. PURRRRRA VIDA!! <3