I'm back in the states!!
So happy to be back, it's so nice not having constant bug bites, mold, sweating, water shortages, etc.
However, it's not like things are super easy here. I came home to a new set of problems.
Two boys had lived alone in our house for the three months while I was gone. The floors hadn't been cleaned once while I was gone, so you can imagine how the rest looked. We also thought Riley was going to be moving, so before I left we had the house mostly packed up. So I came home to all of my stuff packed away and need to figure out how to fit everything into Riley's room with all of his stuff.
I have a really hard time focusing on anything when my living situation isn't clean, organized and tidy. So I've really been struggling. I at least got the house cleaned, so now I just have to organize everything, which just feels like such a daunting task. I've never been so overwhelmed by cleaning and organizing, I normally love it. But I think since I went from such a small space to a large space, it just feels like a mountain I'm trying to scale in one day.
I'm trying so hard to have patience with myself and I have done well so far. Telling myself that I'm not going to get everything done in one day, two days or even a week. It will take time, so I'm trying not to stress myself out, or burn myself out.
Coming back, one of my main goals was to not fall into old unhealthy patterns, and keep all the good habits I formed. I wanted to keep up on my morning routine getting up between 5-7am, doing yoga, practicing breathwork, going outside, journaling often, updating my blog and YouTube channel, and going to bed before 11pm every night.
So far, I have struggled at this. I'm in that weird period where I have to give myself some grace to get settled back in after another huge adjustment period, but also not completely drop all my good habits. I've only been doing yoga every other day, which I'm bummed about. I've been back for a week and haven't gotten into nature yet. I haven't danced or hooped. And it's felt nearly impossible to get up before 8 am.
I think part of my problem with getting up early is I'm sleeping comfortably. In Costa Rica, I had crazy anxiety, even while I was sleeping, so I'd wake up early because I couldn't sleep. Here, I'm in a temperature controlled space with a cozy bed, it's easier to sleep in.
It's also been a hard adjustment living with people again. When I lived alone, 100% of my time was mine, and my only distractions were myself. Now, I find myself getting distracted easier, and distracting Riley easier too. It's hard to coexist in a space with someone you love, and not talk to each other, especially when you both work remotely. Trying to find that work-life balance is more real than ever.
Also with my job, I'm taking on more and more work, and it always just takes energy to learn a new schedule and new tasks. So that's been taking it out of me.
I have so much going on, clearly, that I just feel overwhelmed, and scared to lose progress I made in Costa Rica.
One last reminder to myself, and to you, have patience. As cliche as it is, Rome wasn't built in a day.
I will have patience with myself. Everything will work out. I am managing my anxiety.
OKAY last thing for real. I filmed a YouTube video, but I can't edit it because my phone literally doesn't even have enough storage to just edit the video. *cries* I'm going to T-mobile tomorrow and going to try and get a new phone asap. Because I want to be consistent in my own content creation. If I hold onto anything from Costa Rica, it's my desire to prioritize myself first, as I've never been good about that.
No okay, one more thing. LOL. I have way too many plans made in the next month and I'm already overwhelmed by that too. I wish I had more time in the day. I need to figure out that balance of time with others, nature and myself. And yet I know I'll never 'figure it out', it's an ongoing balance.
Okay I'm done.
Wish my luck. I hope to keep updating this platform regularly. Thank YOU so much for reading. I have so much love for those support me in my life, I can't explain it.
And to my many beautiful friends, I love you and I can't wait to hug you soon <3
Sending LOVE!!! PURA VIDA <33333