Well I’ve been back in LA for 2.5 Months now and I’ve been settling back into a more normal-ish routine…kind of. Idk I think I’m going through a little bit of a depressive episode. The only reason I found the motivation to write today was thanks to my little friend Adderall.
But a lot has happened since I last updated y’all.
I’ve been a lot more active for starters which has felt really nice. I ran 6 days a week the entire month of October. I kind of fell out of the routine after October, but still run 2-3 times a week, and actually started going to the gym.
The reason I started going to the gym was all because of a guy tbh. I started seeing him and have been having a really nice time starting something fresh. He really likes going to the gym, so I just tag along and do as I’m told. It’s pretty great, he’s basically like my personal trainer. Love that for me. He also buys me food which is my #1 love language, so I’m the happiest little cat.
Even though I still struggle with my mental health, I can see the major progress I’ve made since the beginning of the year. When the year started, I was in an outpatient program doing therapy 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. Now I’m down to bi-weekly therapy and using my coping skills to make it through the bumps in the road. Progress.
With that being said, I’m also sleeping a tonnnnn. I don’t know what’s up with me but my body is saying REST. So I’m listening.
I’ve been struggling to maintain the level of spirituality I felt in Montana, but I’m trying my best. I really would like to do more mediation, breathwork and yoga. More reading spiritual books and doing inner work. These are the things that fulfill me.
Being back in LA has been interesting. Something about existing in this city gives me anxiety. I noticed as soon as I got back, my anxiety kicked up again. I’ve been battling it ever since, but not giving up.
I’m so conflicted because I’ve been saying that I’m going to move back to Seattle next year when my lease is up, but of course life just seems to start getting really good whenever I make plans to switch it up.
I just started to really get immersed in the kink community here, and it’s been so fun, welcoming and freeing. I’ve been enjoying myself so much, and it’s also created more opportunity for me. I’ve been making good money working kink events and hopefully getting my foot in the door to do some performance. I’d really like to do self suspensions and maybe incorporate some LED erotic hooping.
The kink community has also been a great opportunity to make some new friends, which has been super nice to create some new fun connections. I feel so grateful. And I’ve gotten a lot of time with my soul sister Jamie, which has been so lovely. Such a solid friendship.
As far as my diet goes- it’s been horrible. I have not been eating dairy or gluten free and my skin hates me for that. I need to do better. It’s just so hard to cook when you’re tired from existing all the time, ya know?
And my relationship with family has been rough. I recently stopped hiding the fact that I’m a sex worker and being my fully authentic self on social media and I’ve definitely received some back lash and judgement. But I’m not letting it stop me anymore. I’m 27, a grown ass adult. They don’t take care of me, therefore they have no say it my life. It feels good to stand up for myself.
All in all, the past few months have been a time of growth and rest. Exactly everything that I need. As I always say, everything happens for a very specific reason. I’m grateful for all the lessons I get to learn in this life.
Hoping to coast into the new year with some new energy and new perspectives. I know I’ll always be taken care of and that’s the most important thing.
Sending you all of my love. Thank you for reading and receiving my words. It means more than you know.
Love you always, Ricki Kitti MEOW 🐱