12/19/2022
I'm upset, disappointed and hurt, from a lack of basic knowledge. So I figured it's time I use my platforms to speak about what I've been fiercely passionate about, always, but even more so lately.
Consent and sexual health.
These are the two things that in my opinion, should be taught in sex ed class. Maybe you went to an ultra progressive school and were educated about this, but I for sure wasn't. And it's becoming more and more clear to me, that most people haven't been properly educated.
Let me start off by saying, I am not a medical professional, and this is not medical advice. Take what I say, through the lens of your own beliefs, but with an open mind. Please feel free to reach out and let me know if I have any misinformation, or you want to talk more in depth.
With that being said... I believe consent and sexual health are two largely overlooked, VERY IMPORTANT, topics. It's unfortunately come to my attention as I meet more and more new people recently.
I used to think that the open minded people of the LBGT+ community really GOT this. False. Some, sure. But not the majority like I thought.
I recently had a gay man grope and touch me, several times without consent. I learned that some gay men think it's ok, because they aren't actually attracted to women. This makes me so upset.
Consent is ALWAYS mandatory. It doesn't matter what your gender, sexuality, intentions, etc. are, YOU MUST ASK FOR CONSENT. If the person says no, this is not an opportunity for negotiation. If someone says no, and you continue to ask them, persuade them, or keep making moves, and they eventually say yes, THIS IS NOT CONSENT. One single 'no' is all it takes and it should be respected.
This includes bringing bedroom toys out in public. A lot of people like to bring whips or paddles to a party as an interactive prop. Great. Love that for you. Before you touch a single person with that, you better ask them if they are comfortable with it. It hurts my brain that I have to spell out these things, but aparently a lot of people don't know.
You ask someone to dance at a club, they say no. Conversation over, LEAVE THEM ALONE. You ask to buy someone a drink, they say 'I don't drink.' YOU WALK AWAY. It's simple.
I recently had a friend tell me their goal is to 'never get tested for STI's their whole life.' When I asked why, they said because they've 'only been with 7 people.' I was shook hearing this.
STI's are not gross. Not getting tested, IS gross. Their are sooo many STI's that don't have syptoms, yet you could be spreading them around to everyone and have no idea. THIS is why getting tested regularly is soooo important.
Even if you're in a monogamous relationship, you should get tested at least once per year. Because there are STI's that can lay dormant in your system, and you might not get symptoms for months or years, and then it's harder to treat. Also more uncommon, but you can get STI's other ways, from things like sharing a drink, or going to the gym.
Now, if you're sexually active with mulitple people, be that you're polyamorous or just dating around, you should be getting tested every 3 months or after every new partner. It is absolutely mind blowing to me that people DON'T prioritize getting tested when so many STI's are easily treatable, but can be dangerous if not caught early/treated.
For people with AFAB bodies (assigned female at birth), you wouldn't think twice about staying up to date on your papsmear tests, so how is STI testing any different?
The biggest shock to me about all of this is that there are a plethora of free testing facilities, no matter where you live. Well. Maybe not in Paradise, MT, but you get the idea. I would be willing to help you find one and set up an appointment if you need help. Sexual health is one of the few health care areas that there is a ton of free help for.
SO PLEASE. GET TESTED.
I'm going to link a podcast I recently listened to that really broke down STI's and talks about education, stigma and testing. I highly recommend it if you're sexually active and take your health seriously.
The moral to all of this angry ranting is simple: ask for consent always, if it's not a YES then it's a NO (this incudes silence) and just get tested, please. Do all the wild things your heart desires, but please be safe.
P.S. condoms do not replace testing!!!!
Please talk about these topics more openly if you're willing. So many people need to be educated. You don't know, what you don't know.
Reach out if you have questions 🫶🏻 thanks for reading! Feel free to share ❤️
Podcast links:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/1OacKFhJyZPimsRhKKTzbS?si=XUuaX9V1RgeJ5JltFDQkTg
https://open.spotify.com/episode/7FUHHB3xsTJD5C1GdHhNMC?si=i9OstBKcRWSQjVD_lKK2Zg